Teaching Humility To Your Players

A tremendous attribute in any person, as well as a member of a team, is the idea of having humility.

Humility, dictionary definitions say, is marked by modesty, meekness, diffidence and an unassuming attitude. Dictionaries also contrast humility with arrogance and pride. Yet we live in a culture where pride is celebrated, arrogance is almost a perquisite to be taken seriously in business, politics and sports.

All Pro Dad has a great article on 10 ways to teach your children humility, which could certainly be applied to any team that a coach works with-

1. Modeling:

   Never underestimate the power of teaching through example. Humility must be consistently modeled as a life-style, not an on-again, off-again example.

2. Build them up:

   This may sound contra-indicative—but it’s important to understand that humility always comes from a position of belief, strength and self-assurance.

3. Encourage and help them to be the very best they can be—no matter what they do:

   Humility works best when your child has actually achieved something! Help your child achieve with confidence.

4. Make sure they understand where their real value comes from:

   It’s easier to side-step pride or arrogance when children understand that they are valued simply because they are your child, not because they make others look bad, or win the race, or that they have a prettier mom (and a smarter dad!), or earn a higher income, or score the most runs.

5. Never humiliate your kids:

   Humility cannot be imposed. It’s important not to confuse humiliation, bullying, and beating down with an education in humility.

6. Expose your child to the great teachers and their stories:

   Jesus, Mother Teresa, Eric Liddell…

7. Teach them to serve:

   - Serve the homeless

   - Serve the poor

   - Serve their family

   - Serve one another

8. Coach them how to respond:

   Kids need to be taught to say “Please?” and “Thank you.” as much as they need to be taught to brush their teeth and to stay out of traffic. So why expect them to know humility without guidance? Here’s an example: “Look, Jr., that’s a great job you did on that science-fair project. You deserved to win the prize. Now, this is how you handle it in class tomorrow… let’s practice saying,

   ‘Thanks!’

   ‘I like the way my friend, Matt, did his project, too.’

   ‘I don’t think I could have won without the help of my teacher.' ”

   You get the idea.

9. Teach them how to apologize:

   The well-timed and sincere apology is a key component of humility. Sometimes they’re wrong—they need to acknowledge that. Sometimes they over-reach and it’s time to back up. Sometimes, they get unintentional consequences they need to smooth over.

10. Teach them to give thanks:

    A genuinely grateful heart is a key building block for humility. Gratitude, practiced and eventually owned, enhances humility at every turn. The person saying “Thank you.” affects a posture that is unassuming and modest. Try this: every time someone offers a compliment, simply say, “Thank you.” It’s the kind of response that eventually soaks in, grows roots, and blooms humility.