Sunday, October 3, 2010

'Parents gone wild' can ruin sports for kids


MIKE JACOBS COLUMN
From the Evansville Courier & Press, October 3, 2010

With little league, travel and school soccer under way for the fall, I already have seen enough behavior from selected parents to be able to make a "Parents Gone Wild" video.

You know that you're a 'parent gone wild' if:

-- You look around at your child's game, and none of the other parents from your child's team are sitting near you. Some people get so emotional or irrational during a game that they lose their awareness of what is going on around them. If you find that the group you sat with at the start of the game has slowly moved away from you, it's probably because you have been so loud that other parents are embarrassed to sit near you.

-- You have actually left your seat to shout at someone on the field. I actually was told a story this fall of a parent leaving their seat with the spectators to walk around the field and confront the opposing team's coach. After that parent was asked to leave, the spouse then went around the field to pick up where their significant other left off (the spouse was subsequently asked to leave the field). If you were at a professional or collegiate sporting event and a fan attempted to get that close to the field of play, you would be removed and potentially arrested. Why would someone believe that would be accepted behavior at a youth soccer field?

-- Your child actually turns away from the field to respond to something you said. If you are shouting instructions at your child to the point that they actually stop playing to respond to something you tell them, you have now distracted your child and have had an adverse affect on their performance. Every parent should cheer encouragement towards their child or their child's team, but should never get to the point where it becomes a distraction or disturbance. There is a reason you have entrusted your child to their coach.

-- You actually shout at a parent of an opposing team. I saw this at a high school game where parents from opposing teams were actually shouting back and forth at each other. If you are so emotionally invested in a game that you are brought into a shouting match with a parent of the opposing team, you probably need to step back and look at the situation more rationally don't forget why you came to the event (to watch your child play, and to see them represent their school and hometown), and don't take yourself so seriously.

-- You spend more time worrying about your child's statistics than they do. As a parent myself, I can appreciate wanting to find something that your children are passionate about. While I do believe that you can foster a level of interest or enthusiasm in your children, you can't actually make them be passionate. They need to find that passion inside them and hope they develop a level of commitment that will allow them to be successful.

In most cases, nine out of 10 parents at these youth sporting events behave in a positive fashion. Any time I see that one parent out 10 as a "parent gone wild," my initial reaction is embarrassment for their own child. A "parent gone wild" is normally irrational, and doesn't realize that not only are they making a spectacle of themselves, but embarrassing their own child that much more.

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